During
the course of all the time that I’ve endeavoured to create the stuff that has
been released here, there have been certain self-reflective thoughts which
bubbled-up as I examined what I was doing, while things were still
“in-progress”.
Here
are some of the notions which seem significant enough to impart:
1.)
Firstly,
if we
start at the beginning,
one of
the most monumental tasks in writing anything,
was naming
the characters to be written about.
It is
difficult to estimate how many times I’ve changed the names of certain
characters, in a quest to perfect their “identifying factor”.
Generally,
my tendency has been to focus on the “sound” of a name, rather than a name’s
historical meaning & etymology.
Which
also means I prefer names of my own devising, rather than selecting from
“actual” names that already exist.
(Though,
obviously, for stories which were to be based in a reality closely resembling
our own, it became a necessity to utilize “real names” for those scenarios.)
However,
there
are all sorts of other qualities that also factor into whether a name “feels
right” for a character.
Certain
sounds give off connotations of other already-existent words, which has
deterred me from some choices in the past. Since such names would have evoked
the other words, words which themselves have certain meanings, which would have
then added unintended associations between a character’s name and the meaning
of those other words, which might cast a character in a light that I did not
want.
To quickly
drum up a demonstrative example:
If I
liked the “sound” of “Azbaad” for a certain character, but it occurred to me
that such a name might evoke the words “ass” & “bad”, then it would get
dropped as a potential name, even though the “sound” might be perfectly
suitable for the character in question, if considered in a vacuum without
context.
From
there, another problem with the “sound” of a potential name relates to how
unique that name seems in comparison to all the other names in the story.
When
considering that a name is the major “identifying factor” of a character, if there
is not sufficient uniqueness between them, then someone reading a certain story
might get bogged down in trying to remember if “Grizgren” is the lizard-bug
with moth wings & a cheerful demeanour, or if that was “Grijgreb”, who
might have been the snake-spider with a melancholic attitude.
The
idea of “name uniqueness” can also extend beyond one story, and begin to cross-reference
against the names featured in all other stories I’ve created.
What’s
more, “name uniqueness” can even be extended to the characters from other
persons’ stories, which further complicates the situation, if desiring for
these new characters to stand-out in relation to all the myriad creations that
I’m personally aware of.
This
process has certainly been mentally grueling at history’s current time-period,
when so many people have created so many things across the ages, which limits
what a new thing can even attempt to be, if “uniqueness in relation to other
things” is a major consideration.
And
again, that’s just the name!
A character
is composed of so many details, and each aspect struggles to be memorable when
placed in reference to everything that already exists.
But to
stay on the topic of names, once a character’s basic conceptualization has come
forth (either as a description or a drawing), then there is the challenge of
whether the name itself even fits the character.
This is
actually something that has prompted some thinking within me of the very
intense implications of “name giving”.
Not
only for writing, but even with the way people name their children.
Basically:
When
parents assign their child a name, that child has not yet developed into the
person they will ultimately become, so ANY choice made at the beginning will
fail to reflect who they actually are.
Not only
do most parents select a name that already exists, rather than creating one
from scratch, but even if they choice a name based on its etymological meaning
& historical usage, then they are still attaching their personal hopes for
how that child might grow up to be perceived.
But
that doesn’t necessarily match the true nature of the child in question. (Which
will only manifest in his or her identity at a later time.)
And the
same is true of characters.
While I
might think a certain name is fitting,
in
reality, there may be a combination of letters that PERFECTLY encapsulates
everything that said character represents, which I’ve not conceived.
Which
makes any name that I select for a character…
…more
like “pinning on” a name, rather than revealing the true essence of them.
For
instance, certain pictures that I drew back in 2003-2005 are still the same
characters, who represent the same overall personality, but due to my ongoing
process of creativity, they all received multiple name changes & tweaks.
In
context of their stories, the changes probably make sense. But the heart of
each character’s essence remains the same no matter what I name them.
This
fills me with a very vague, yet acute feeling. As if this all alludes to
something important, beyond the scope of imagining alternate realities &
crafting narratives based on those daydreamings.
2.)
Secondly,
we
arrive at the notion of how a creatively-inclined mind experiments with ever-changing
ideas that continuously pull the rug out from beneath the foundation of
stories.
This
has accounted for my greatest hurdle in finishing the stories that mean the
most to me.
Essentially,
due to the fact that the worlds & characters represent what I wish things
would be like in reality, these stories evolved as I grew up & learned
more.
By
experiencing more, and comprehending more, it shifted certain parts of what I
considered “most desirable”, which then shifted what these most important
stories should depict.
Forced
to revise & rewrite everything over & over & over across many
years, there have been numerous times where it seemed like it was pointless to
continue, when new information & a changing perspective would inevitably
cause the obsoletion of all my previous efforts… again…
This
has resulted in several stories getting shortened, in the desperation to finish
something & release it, before that process of revision invalidated them
all over.
(“Soul
Swarm Samsara” is a prime example.)
Besides
coming up with new additions & expansions to a scenario, which might
require such rewriting for continuity’s sake, the most major issue that has
forced revision of long-time dreamt stories has been “the underlying message”.
Especially
after being introduced to various spiritual traditions, and starting to
understand why people live the way they live, and how people can still ennoble
themselves further, it has again forced me to reconsider what purpose my own
creations actually serve.
That
has then resulted in altering “the message” to be transmitted.
Whether
it was an overarching them in the background, or a major element in the very
forefront, I’ve had to confront “the message” of each story and determine if it
was assisting the increase of goodness in this world or not.
I have
been forced to make several sizable choices in regards to this issue.
Choices
which I shall keep the specifics private, and only comment that it is
absolutely vital that we all become aware of the potential repercussions of
everything we do.
Because
even if we don’t intend to actively “do evil”, it still hinders the advancement
towards lasting happiness for ALL if we work towards things that waste time
& energy that could be better spent.
3.)
Thirdly,
once
the “worthiness” of “the message”
in each
story has been evaluated,
there
still lies another underlying issue with creativity.
As I
already wrote to an online-friend earlier this year,
all art
is an imperfect documentation of whatever we intend or dream it to be.
I
daydream faster than I can speak. I speak faster than I can write. I write
faster than I can draw. I draw faster than I can record.
And
each medium of art still ends up producing a result that only captures the gist
of what I had originally conceived with such rapidity in my mind.
It
takes so very little effort to imagine a character. Standing in their full
glory, with three dimensions & vitality.
Yet
once it comes to transmitting an artistic approximation…
…it
takes SO MUCH effort and time…
…with
each moment
getting infinitely further away from the "ideal" conception that had
manifested internally with effortlessness…
…and
the final piece is still not alive.
There
are a lot of implications in this. And it taps into a lot of what troubled me,
when I first came into contact with the spiritual beliefs of a different online-friend.
Because it essentially rendered all artistic expression as a waste of time.
“Demiurgical” activities that would always be a degenerated copy of the
self-arising perfection.
4.)
Fourthly,
all
these artistic expressions are influenced by worldly impressions.
Impressions
made on us, before we’ve even become aware they were shaping the direction of
what we would do, before we even decided to do it.
Subtle
insinuations about what was worthwhile to accomplish, or not.
For
instance, a teenager might never decide to exert time & effort in starting
a band with his or her friends, if not for being influenced by the activities
of those who had already made their way in the world through that activity.
But
that impression,
the
idea that “this is a good way to live”,
then
leads to other choices which might be even more compromised.
For
instance,
to play
in that teenage band,
you’d
need an instrument.
To get
that instrument,
you’d
need money.
To get
money,
you’d
need a job.
Then
the teenager becomes immersed in all sorts of systems,
in the
effort to get the money, to get the instrument, to play music.
And
that’s before said teenager has even conceived of the songs they’ll be playing.
Songs,
which
then transmit a message.
But,
because
of entering into all those compromising systems…
…systems
that directly influence behavior, in order to acquire what was desired…
…the
message itself might be compromised.
Obviously,
the
communal act of making music is a good thing.
But the
circumstances of society have exploited that activity,
and
turned it into something that assists in the perpetuation of what I personally
feel to be a bad way of life.
And
that’s not even considering the various messages being espoused through
recorded music itself, which further entrenches all sorts of assumptions about
what is worthwhile to accomplish in this world.
Each
song is the sum of numerous unspoken impressions on the artists who crafted it.
Some
lyrics might be swiped from a book. Other lyrics might be lifted from a philosophical
text. Some lyrics might be something an anonymous person other than the artist
said.
Yet,
when reassembled into the form of a song, there is the impression of
originality.
Originality,
which itself is a composite of many smaller copied things.
Whole-sale
plagiarism is generally considered “bad”, but it is almost never acknowledged
just how much influence exists in even “original” things.
To
shift from music, back to writing…
…even
the basic premises and genres are templates and copies…
…with
the impetus for writing in such a framework at all… being something
unquestioned…
To
create something original, you would have to forego ALL worldly impressions.
You
couldn’t use ANYTHING pre-existant.
You
couldn’t use the memory of trees, or of rivers, or of the Sun, or of humans, or
of whatever language you were writing in…
For it
to be 100% truly original, you would first have to recede completely from this
reality… and then design your very own parameters from the very base.
Parameters
for how things should be, before even getting to the advanced dimensional
concepts that would even allow writing to take place…
Then
you’d have to design your own language, and use those letters to write about
things that you yourself designed…
…but
even then…
…after
quite literally “building a world”…
…the
impetus for DOING any of that, would still reside in your impressions originating
in another world that you didn’t make…
…which
led to the initial assumption back there, that creating your own original world
was a good idea to begin with.
(((While
I can’t speak for other writers, the reason that this all seemed like a good
idea, for me personally, lies in the notion of making a more preferable world
to exist within. But I must note, that I am aware that a “more preferable
world” might still be flawed and not attain 100% perfection. Hence how I
described my works as “stepping-stones, not destinations” in my Statement Of
Intent post from back in February.)))
…
This
tangent could splinter off into so many existential issues that it is
mind-boggling.
Therefore,
rather
than get bogged down any further,
I shall
just end this post here.
Hopefully,
something
within all of the above is helpful to someone.
